Her face, her scent
His memory has captured it all

He still wears her black hair band around his wrist
As a reminder of how she made him feel

Stretched out
It is now symbolic of their distance

He loved the way she never tied her hair up when they were alone
She would let down her pony tail
And her silky, straight brown hair would gracefully fall into place

She smiled so effortlessly
And looked at him in the eyes as if he was the only person in the world
Her laugh was adorable and contagious 
Her lips once belonged to only him
Everything about her gave him butterflies

He always thought about her
It was even impossible to fight it

She expressed that she was experiencing the same thing

But one day, she won the battle
He was no longer on her mind
And she began to drift away

He asked her what was wrong and why things started to change
She said that things weren’t going the way she wanted them to and that she didn’t have time for this

Broken hearted, he let her have her space
While he sat there with her hair band and all the memories so vivid in his mind

He eventually realized that she was in love…

She was head over heels in love with a dream
She fell in love with a motive 

it’s all just part of the plug
an extension of insincerity 
from the outlet of lust
electrical cords that are not to trust 

i didn’t know how to feel
the moment he kissed me on the dance floor

it meant nothing to him
all in good fun

but for me, it meant that i was no longer yours

he is the polar opposite of you
yet at the core, both of you are exactly the same

i walked into the bakery today
i forgot she works there
we don’t know each other
but i do know he had a thing for her

how can i blame him?
she glides smoothly from counter to counter
has a radiating smile, contagious even
beautiful without any makeup on

smart, pretty, kind, works at the bakery
how can i compete with that?

i understand. 

i’ve never told anyone that i changed my favorite number to 22
the 2 represents never being the best
the other 2 serves as a reminder that i’ll never be good enough

unable to grasp the concept
that you’re not here anymore

that bright look in your eyes has been gone for too long
your beautiful smile hidden in the shadows of pain

off to brighter days, you go
and although the days shine bright here, my eyes see nothing but rain

it’s not the same without you

i miss you. i love you.

please still watch me as i grow up <3 

i’ve seen that same look before
that look in your eyes
filled with flames
and empty at the same time

it is the look of desire
only lust

the reason i can’t trust 

i cuddled with someone for the first time since you left
remember when i told you that you were the best cuddler?
i still think it’s true

the way he held me didn’t send love and warmth into my bones
and the time didn’t fly by like it did with you

i’m trying to move on like you did
but something keeps holding me back
and makes me want to wait for you
i still want to be yours and only yours

i spend my time wishing that i changed your life as much as you changed mine
i wonder what i would have to change about myself for you to want me

every time you walk by i hold my breath
hoping that you won’t see the hurt

the other day, we passed each other by the stairs
and that is the closest i’ll ever be to you
three inches apart

emotionally, i can’t get through to you


 

when you see me walk by, do you still think i’m pretty?
do you ever regret letting me go?
would you care if you saw me holding someone else’s hand?
my heart would shatter if i saw you with another girl

i wonder who you kissed on new year’s
i wonder who was your valentine
i wonder who was the last girl you kissed
i wonder who you wish for at night before you fall asleep
i wonder who your heart belongs to

i want to know if she makes you smile
i want to know if she wants you as much as i do
i want to know if she cares about you
i want to know how she’s better than me
i want to know how pretty and skinny she is
i want to know how smart she is

i wish you thought of me
i wish you missed me
i wish you loved me
i wish you cared about me
i wish you were my friend

i wish i was prettier
i wish i was skinnier
i wish i was smarter
i wish i was the girl of your dreams
i wish i was good enough


 

It’s getting sunny outside now
And I still think about you everyday
I’ve come to realize that I love you
Even though I never had the chance to fall in love with you

I care about you
Even ask our friends how you are
One of them called you today in front of me…
I miss the sound of your voice
It was so close, but too far away

I look at pictures of you
And how happy you are in them
They make me realize that I stay away because I can’t make you smile like that
And this is what you want

Tomorrow I will wear a dress
And let the sun shine on my skin
And hope that we cross paths
And maybe you’ll look
And think that I look pretty